What's the Problem?

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Like most men, the skills of attracting women can be a huge challenge. For some men, it comes naturally to them and they have this area of their life all figured out. For many years, this has been a challenge for me, so I had to ask myself what was going on. I had to be honest with myself. Coming up with these answers really helped me out and I think they’ll help you out as well. So let’s take a look. What’s up?

You Don’t Know What’s Going to Happen

This always freaked me out. When it came to approaching women, I always asked myself what was going to happen. Instead of getting excited about this, a huge rush of fear and anxiety would hit me like a bullet. I think the big key when approaching a woman is to just get it out there. Get something going on for yourself. Put the energy into it so it can come back to you. If you get rejected, think about it. That’s power being given to you. Ironically, rejection is power. This doesn’t relate to women, but you know Aaron Rodgers, Quarterback of the Green Bay Packers? When he was trying to get into a big college school, many of those schools gave him rejection letters. You know what he did? He kept the letters for motivation. He chose a Non-resistant way. Today, he’s a Super Bowl Champion and possibly on his way to getting two or three more Super Bowls. The idea here is persistence. Keep going until you get what you want.

You’re Worried People Won’t Approve of You

Honestly, who cares about what other people think about you? Their opinion towards you has nothing to do with you. IT’S THEIR ISSUE. NOT YOURS. Most people are more worried about what you’re going to think about them anyways. The other thing is this MIGHT BE WHAT THEY’RE THINKING. Even if they do have some harsh criticisms towards you, remember, that’s power. They’re giving you power.

You’re Afraid of Being Rejected

Learn to accept rejection. For most humans, rejection can be painful. They think it’s a bad thing. IT ISN’T. Remember when I was saying that rejection is power? It really is. I remember times when I would get kicked to the curbed (metaphorically speaking) and I would be depressed about it, but then suddenly another attractive woman would enter the picture that was better and liked me. There is a Law of Sacrifice in this universe. it means something good is being traded in for something better. Think of it like that. Its proven to be a useful idea to apply.

You Don’t Know What to Say

I’ve had this problem for a long time. If I go over there to talk to her, I’m not going to know what to say. Well, think of things to say. Go online and look up what women like to talk about with men and write it down. For me, attraction has always been an intuitive thing meaning if I like the vibe I’m getting from a woman, chances are we’re attracted to each other and we have a good amount of things in common. So use your gut feeling as well.

You Believe It’s Not Going to Work

Believe it or not, the times that I’ve been most skeptical are the times when my approach has actually worked the most. I remember coming up with things to say or friends coming up with things to say for me and being like “NO WAY. SHE’LL SLAP ME FOR SAYING THAT!” The end result was usually a big laugh and a playful hit in the arm or a huge jaw drop (I love that). Keep in mind though, that you’ll run into a woman every once in a while that might slap you. But hey, if you’re not getting hit every once in a while, you’re not trying hard enough.

You Don’t Want to Bother Her

Dude, if you’re really into her, go bother her! Many guys say that they don’t want to offend a woman by approaching her. Now why would a woman be offended by this? You’re just going up and talking with her. I’ve heard many attractive women say that THEY WANT TO BE WANTED, NOT NEEDED. I’d like to add in that their’s a huge difference between needing a woman and wanting her. A woman that comes across a man that wants her is a hundred times more attractive then a man that needs one.

It's Unnatural

Perhaps it is. Most of us are not hardwired to communicate with people we don't know. We think we're going to offend a women just by approaching her. Now why would a woman be offended if you approached them? TAKE THE RISK. Think of how much better your life is going to get if you develop this skill.

You’ve Built an Image You Don’t like

If you have done this, take some time to figure out who you really are. The Inner Game is the most important thing to develop when it comes to attracting women. You’ve probably developed beliefs from your parents, teachers, and other authority figures that aren’t true. So take some time to figure out WHO YOU ARE. NOT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE. What do you really believe in? What do you really want out of life for yourself?

It's Too Important To You

Although this is an important area for men, LIGHTEN UP! Don’t take it too seriously. Remember, this is suppose to be fun. A woman loves a man that has a sense of humor and can laugh at himself every once in a while.

Your Fears Aren’t Under Control

Get control of your fear. Remember, you’re just approaching another human being to talk with them. Get in control of you’re breathing and JUST BE YOU. The fear of approaching women goes way back into the caveman days and other times back then. We fear approaching women because of the possibility of death from back then. If a man approached a woman and she was taken, he was either beaten or killed for it. Did you know that when you have a baby with your partner, the cells and chemicals in your body transfer to that child? So in a way, that’s hardwired into us. AGAIN THOUGH, DON’T LET THIS BE YOUR EXCUSE. FIND A WAY. We’ve come a long way since then. Humans don’t commit acts like this anymore for wanting to talk to someone. So just relax!

What Women Look For in Men Summary

Image from  http://www.yourlovetips.com/signs-of-attraction-from-women/

-Men and women are hard wired differently. 

 -Women are attracted to a men by how the man makes them feel.

- Your confidence, appearance, health, hygiene, comfort, attitude, fashion, and goals in life will determine how you attract women. 

-Focus on the basics of attracting women, and the complex stuff will take care of itself. 

What Women Look For In Men

Image from  http://www.yourlovetips.com/signs-of-attraction-from-women/

What do women look for in men? First off, it’s very important to understand that women are much different from men. Men and women are hard wired differently. This causes frustration. However, through understanding women, frustration can be minimized. 

Men are attracted to a way a woman looks. Women are also attracted to features of men, but they respond much more to their emotionally circuitry. In other words, they’re attracted to a man by how the man makes them feel. If you push the right buttons, you’ll make them feel a positive emotion towards you. If you don’t, well I think you know already. What’s amazing is that her responses have nothing to do with you. She’s just responding to how you’ve approached her. 

So what are some basic things women look for in men? Let’s take a look.

Appearance- On a subconscious level, women are going to be attracted to the taller and better looking man. Is this an excuse for men who are opposite? Absolutely not! You’re success with women is going to revolve around how you think about them. If you want to have a great relationship with them, then you have to focus your thoughts on the positive things about them. You must get rid of any negative thoughts about them. If it’s of any help, women have to do the same if they want success with men. Stuff like “women are the devil”, “women are all bitches” or on the woman’s side “men are pigs”, “men are assholes” has to go because you’re only hurting yourself. Think more like “women are awesome with me”, “women really value me” instead. Focus on more of these types of thoughts and affirmations and you’re beliefs about them will change. 

Health- A woman loves a man that takes care of himself. They love a man that loves to workout hard. I’m not saying you have to go to the gym and buy steroids. We all have a form of exercise that’s for us. There’s hiking, biking, running, boxing, martial arts, yoga, and even weightlifting. The most important thing is that you find something that is for you.

Hygiene- This one is one of the most crucial things for men to learn. Yet, there are a good amount of men that don’t take care of their hygiene. Men are shooting themselves in the head when they choose to let their hygiene go bad. Women don’t just look at this, they dissect it. So please gentlemen, take care of yourselves! Shower, shave, brush your teeth, get a good hair cut, throw away clothes that have holes in them. What are you saying about yourself if you don’t take care of yourself? Think about it. Every action has a reaction. 

Fashion- This is something that many men need help on, and that’s okay. I think it has to go back to how we are hard wired once again. Go online and do some research. Ask women about what’s good out there in the fashion world for men because this is another thing that a woman completely dissects. Again shirts with holes in them, shirts that smell so bad they can’t be washed out, and shirts that look like they’ve been pee’d on (trust me I’ve seen it) get rid of them. 

Comfort- A man has got to be comfortable with himself. If you aren’t, then who is going to be comfortable around you. Again, every action has a reaction. Give yourself permission to be you. Your approval is all you’re going to need here. 

Positive attitude- One of the most effective things you can have as man is an optimistic mind. Don’t take things so seriously. Even in dark times, there’s humor to lighten things up. 

Confidence- Be confident with yourself. A man that has himself under control is confident with himself no matter what.

Being non reactive- The only person you’re trying to impress is you. Don’t try to impress and get approval from others. 

Having personal goals- I think is one of the most attractive things a woman can find in a man is a man that has personal goals. In other words, a man with a life of his own. It’s a way that a man can put himself first instead of a woman. They really respect a man that has his mind set on a goal that he would really love to accomplish. It also puts the man on a path on discovering more about himself, which is one of life’s biggest keys. If anything, build the image that you want to be. Know yourself. 

These are the basics of what women look for in men. There’s much more to it then this. However, if anything master the basics first. Always come back to them and you’ll get through the more complex stuff easier.